I've lived my life in a repressive and homophobic family. I go to (or went to now I'm in duel enrollment in college) a Christian school were the teacher openly insult LGBT people and imply that they all have mental illness. I grew up just "not liking boys" in this environment. I think that I've always been gay but I didn't like to think I was. I don't know how but I think other people could sense it before I could. I was always accused and harassed about being gay even though I always told them I wasn't when they ask. Since then I've come to terms with it and know that it's just another state of human sexuality, that has no mental illness or promiscuous links on my own. In a way this is a good thing because it has challenged my critical thinking and helped me become a more thoughtful and logical person. However if my parent (grandmother) ever found out there is no dought I would be cut off or punished similarly in some way. I'm 17 now, it wouldn't be illegal to kick me out of the house in a few months anyway. If it were that easy I wouldn't think twice about leaving but I know realistically I still need the financial support and will continue to need it till I finish college. My grandmother doesn't have much money so I don't own a car and my part time doesn't pay to get me threw college. I want to date though, and I feel like if I wait till after college to even start a relationship it'll be to late and I'll have no idea what I'm doing (also I'll be annoyed). Any advise on what I should do?