I will explain some things about my past. Our past makes us who we are. For those who are struggling need someone to listen to, send me friend request and i'll be happy to listen. Sometimes getting through some days is harder than others and it's helpful to have someone who will listen to you.
Everyone has days where it's really messed up and feels almost impossible to get through, alot of people have been there. I know people can make the best out of the life they have had today. My birth parents were teenagers, and I've never met them ton be honest. I was adopted into my family as an infant so I've always considered my family with them home. I've been through a rough family past though because of a tragic history.
My parent's died when I was 10. I was having dinner at a friend's birthday party. I got dropped off. I forgot my keys and my family usually leaves the back door shut. Noticed the back door was unlocked and left open. I came in and found my kitchen completely ruined, glass/stuff all over the floor. I went to the dining room to see my mom on the floor with gunshot and stabbing wounds, I was traumatized and trying to think it was a dream my family was gone. I called my friend's mom and was scared and did not know how to word it properly. she asked to speak to my mom, and I said she's not breathing and on the floor. She said wait there, I'll be right there. when the police came, they found me crying on my the floor next to my mom. Nobody in my family took me in because I was originally adopted. I couldn't help but feel betrayed and abandoned.
After I lost my family who raised me, I was sent to a foster home, where I would be put on list for adoption. A lot of kids there were really mean to me during my stay there. There were a couple that were nice and respected me. I was relentlessly bullied, beaten up by other kids there. It was not a pleasant time for me. I started feeling worse and worse. I was eventually taken to a psychologist where I was diagnosed with moderate to severe depression, anxiety, and ptsd. I went to therapy, still, It wasn't always enough to compensate for the torture I went through. I started feeling suicidal and had multiple hospital visits because I tried to hang myself on the ceiling with shoelaces, and stole razor blades from the kitchen with intent to slit my wrist and post it on youtube. I'm eventually relocated to a treatment facility instead of a nursing home. They did have a m