Puppet

  • I stood on the edge of a bridge as I gazed down at the grim watery abyss, in soundlessness and dismay. The demons of my past and present gripped onto me feeding upon my events. What I had done, who I had lost and now what I was about to do as claw marks were carved into my skin. The hole in my chest enlarging as I was led there, emotionless and a former shell of myself.

    They taunted me telling me of how useless and weak I was to stop you from leaving that day, but how could I have stopped you? It was your desire to leave me alone in this now what I like to call pointless endeavour. I tried so hard to be what you wanted me to be but it wasn’t enough for you, I wasn’t no good for you. You dragged me down to the floor like some sort of dog, pinning me down, invoking fear into my heart. How could I believe that this was love? What is love? The materialised chemical emotion that draws us to each other, the desire, the wanting.

    My demons were in waiting as they saw the whole events of which took place, cackling and giggling as they’d foresaw what would happen. The had always been there but always just out of sight, weighing me down with my insecurities and discrepancies. I gripped my head and screamed realising that they hated me with a vengeance, little did they realise I too hated myself, I hated my appearance, I hated my body everything about me I had once treasure had been tossed aside by you...I went so far as to harm myself not seeing any end to this suffering which has encaptered me in a endless loop of time....when will this suffering end? Why did you leave me here to rot?

    I can’t fight anymore I said my voice shaking and trembling in fear and sadness, I just want to sleep forever I am so tired of having to fight you and my own self hatred. I wasn’t enough for you my love....so I hope you find peace and joy with another....I’m sorry, she whispered as she closed her eyes feeling the wind on her skin one last time. She smiles sadly once more, tears streaming down her face as she took one last look at the world around her. She finally took one step and fell into the dark abysmal

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