Recent Entries

  • WTF!

    I'll never be good enough for anyone, I feel as if I keep trying and everything feels like it's going ok. Then out of no were I feel like I do something wrong and am told to leave. I will never understand what it takes to a "perfect" girlfriend, fiance, or wife. I asked my man if I could s...
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  • Emotional

        I don't know what to do to make others see me the way I want them to... Life was so much easier when I was invisible to everyone and when my heart was cold. But now that I've welcomed someone into my life it's hard to hide in the shadows when the sun hurts. I felt like I was gonna die ...
  • Life Lessons

         I've been away from ya'll for far too long! I'm finally started to see life for what it needs to be , not what we WANT it to be. The hard truth is we don't need anyone in our lives we only really "want" others in our life. WANT and NEED are two very different things.   &n...
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  • What do I have to do?

    What do I have to do to be good enough in my mother’s eyes? I try and try and nothing ever seems to work and fit in a lace all I ever seem to be able to do is screw things up and show her how much of a disappointment I really am to her and this family. I’m never going to be good enough in he...
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  • Why?!

    How can you finally have everything but still feel like your nothing and don’t belong. I’ve been alone for so long that it’s hard for me to be happy without the voices in my head attacking me. Once you have everything aren’t you suppose to be happy and stop feeling the pain you did before...
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  • What is love?

    What is love? I’ve felt broken so long I don’t know how to truely love someone else without the vioces in my head tearing me up from the inside out. I found love in my boyfriends eyes but the pain in my heart in mind are just too much. My arm is sore my eyes are tired and life feels too hard. ...
  • Dream Entry # 2

    Dream: I'm laying lifess in a pool of my own blood my skin looks paler then it ever has its almost shining next to my crimson blood. (Thats not what breaks me though. ) Holding me close in her arms is a beautiful girl\women she looks my age maybe a year younger. Shes holding me in her arms rockin...
  • Dream Entry # 1

    I m floating in water with a black sky above me. Theres no stars or moon to like my way only dark above and only a water black depth below. I float for what seem like forever before I decide to take a dive. As soon as my head goes under I reamerge on a street soaked in blood from head to toe. All th...
  • Darkness (My old friend)

    I've never been a morning person I've always prefured the night over the day. Most of the time during the day I was picked on, hit and verbally abused by those closets around me so I grew into a shell. Before I knew it I was wearing black all the time. At the time I thought it was because I was Goth...
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  • The pen is mightier then the sword.

    They say the "Pen" is mightier then the "sword" I think they have point. When we leave this world on purpose or by time we leave behind word rather it be on a note or on your will. And even if No-one listened to you in life they all want to know what your final words were. Your able to get everythi...
  • Life is hard. . . But whoever said it wasn't?

    Life is like a video game were all trying so hard to to get to the boss level nl mater what it takes. Some use cheats and other hard work. Then you have people like me that are forced to play the stupid game and at first its fun but then it get hard and your enemy is a total arse. S...
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