Insecurities

  • Lately I've been feeling... empty. I have no reason to live. I really hate the situation I'm in, and every summer I lose myself to the internet. I don't have any friends that I'm willing to hang out with besides my best friend that lives 3 hours away from me. The more I keep to myself in my room, the more I feel trapped and isolated from everyone else.

    My friends feel fake. They pity me because I'm physically incapable of starting a conversation with someone. When I try to do so, my heart starts racing and I stutter. Usually I have a frozen, terrified face that makes me unapproachable. I get stares, it might be because of my alt style but I feel like there is some other factor to it that I'm missing.

    My family treats me weird too. I don't usually go downstairs but when I do they stuff my face with food and it seems like they're awkwardly trying to get me upstairs.

    I feel like no one wants me around, and I don't want them around either. As soon as I'm old enough I'm moving out and going anywhere but here. Another problem I have with people is that if I come out, they'll treat me like a Tumblr hipster sjw loser. I'm asexual panromantic, look it the fuck up because I'm not going to explain it one more time. My parents are really religious and homophobic and they probably won't understand or support me at all. As much as I want to leave, I'm afraid to let go of all familial ties. Them being the helicopter parents they are, they made me dependant on them and really clingy.

    I just needed to vent for a bit. Also, please make fun of me for being edgy and also the cringy af thumbnail for this blog.

    Also, advice is accepted and taken into consideration. I really need it.

Comments

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  • imsoblah
    imsoblah Hi i'm Ky the self proclaimed mom of this site, and as much as you're gonna roll your eyes at this, this is coming from a person who was the same as you at your age. You might be dealing with the teenage hormones, they're killer around your age. There's...  more
    Jun 15