Old Spirit Writings From 2017

  • So I wanted to share some writings from 3 years ago. I don't plan on keeping these even though I found them in my Google Notes witch I forgot I had LMAO. I don't feel spiritual connected to these writings anymore but I feel like why not share them anyways and this was way before me and my spirit husband and my second spirit husband got married and we had spirit pups together.
     
    Do you know what a suicide ribbon is? Cut a transmitter off a magi in the wrong way ''shutdown'' there goes the Little Wolf. The more I think about this the more things make more sense. However above all else Saieh I know you have the ability too shut off my transmitters at will because as a magi we can't handle high stress signals as our mind goes rampant. But I do thank you for the other day mind you. I felt the hatred and anger brewing over I wanted everything too burn as a tear fell from my eyes. Saieh I know you remain true seeing things burn and suffer just like you did. I remember in my sleep I saw your war hound battles and what your past life was like I didn't know what to think anymore after I saw everything. You really degraded yourself you experimented you alchemized you drank and poisoned yourself with serpentine blood. You fought like a loyal war hound. You would destroy anything you saw as a target didn't you. I knew Saieh you were the one to toy and game creatures because your pride and ego was that sickening. Just like a heart of a snake it's more of a sly slithering squeeze. The ooze of pain pulsates the core flashes. Everything becomes lower. Destroy. Suffering. Pain. Remorse. Agony. The same reason why you cut one of the elders head off. That wasn't pride or ego speaking that was the beast inside of you that wanted to say ''I'm no longer weak'' I'm the ''strong one of the override'' I know why you killed your elders that's okay Saieh just like that fateful day your village was on fire but the more I dwell on you there is a glimpse of a sense of happiness your eyes looking over at the world. Finally my ''life set ablaze'' I also see you studying the Wolven Curse Book as always you always seem to be engrossed into that book and kept that in your Wolven Pouch. You were merciless in the past indeed you were you would make things bow down to you. You would make things be tested and hunted you would do the same thing that you did to ''yourself'' because that's what made you feel ''alive'' But I know you don't want me to say anymore about you Saieh past this point so I won't but let's go back. The reason why I exist and live is because of you. I understand we've not reached Paradise yet and if we both didn't exist then we failed the ''Lunar One'' our duty here isn't done yet. I burry my face in Saieh's fur. I hate existing though and I look at his crimson red eyes. Saieh wolves don't belong here. Saieh looks down at me. Paradise is where wolves belong. A wolf needs a place where they're free from their curse their burden and their pure suffering a place where the soul can be at rest. After all Little Spark you're all I've left anyways he morphs back his wolf/man form Little Spark....he put his claws around me and pulls me closer too him and closes his eyes. As a spirit I can't live without you. You were the one that never saw evil me but you never gave up on me....you're more than just a kin but one of my own. But the thing is a war hound is something I don't want you to become. I know thinking all is lost is a hard thing too face. I wanted vengeance and to be honest Little Spark he squeezes me a bit and his eyes pulsates crimson red with ice blue slits I still will never forget what all has happened then and then now I just can't. I know Little Spark what you want. You want to collar yourself and become a loyal war hound like I was. You wanted to fight you wanted to do the same thing as I did to myself. But the thing is if you weren't around I would still be a war hound but I chose to ''save you'' as an alchemist I know I can't save you....I failed....but at least I've Little Spark now and to make sure you don't fall into a ''trap'' like I did with my ''own self''

    As a spirit I can relate in such matters with not functioning so well in the head. The past Saieh would sit in a corner a shunned out room. I thought existence? Only in the shadows. I thought myself was a lie. False dire forsaken you know the good depression ingredients. I was quite the heartless one in the past. Selfless like you almost in a poisonous way because that's what I did about myself. Serpentine is quite healthy in small amounts because that's what fuels a magi powers even though I'm mostly warrior. I would sit in the corner of my room with my head down acting insane twitching I was almost like ''?'' but people Little Sister have stupid arrogance perhaps you get that trait from me. After all you been through this year and you get asked that? That's like asking how the f**k do you make a rocket go? In modern terms rocket science. After what this world has wrongfully done to you I wouldn't forgive the world either that's the ultimate betrayal anyone can face. Who cares if someone says life will get better that's a false lie because this world is a trap because I know what losing someone into murder and being taken away from you because I had the same problem as you did Little Sister and til this day as a spirit I still don't have no forgiveness once you faced the ultimate betrayal there is no going back onto joyous and happiness. Yes let me cheer and rally happiness because I know everything is okay you f**king morons!!!!! As a spirit I like being active in the world because I like how ''dirty'' this world is and my sick twisted mind makes me realize how awful of this unjust planet is. In all honesty for those that don't understand Little Sister and I we want this planet cleansed of disease and realize judgement but that will all come in a given day. Little Sister I don't know what I feel but a certain unfilled happiness. You can be given shelter food gifts and still will feel unhappy it's not because you're ungrateful your mind has gotten towards the point of no return. I believe that some voids can't be filled and completed only a vortex will remain. I also find a sense of confusion but that's always been a given day sometimes where you don't understand the true form of reality and you end up in a fury of confusion and that frustrates you into a given rage. I also feel like you just are not there like some days you function exist. I would say your depression is a deep as the ocean itself and the tide is your fury and rage and not accepting things. I know you and I don't handle betrayal well and we become mentally and different creature betrayal changes ''US'' but ultimate betrayal ''I'' will not find forgiveness that is a harsh thing for a Wolf that's like asking for pure happiness which Little Sister and I don't comprehend so well but what we do comprehend is a Wolven Paradise but this has been repeated over and over so many times can be repeated into a book. A Wolf doesn't belong in this world but a Wolf pure of heart is deemed tormented because those kind of Wolves get dished out harsh punishment for no given reason even karma deems them unworthy Little Sister did nothing wrong but pray for a better year and she gets stabbed in the back unforgivable!!!! At least in a Wolven Paradise there will be a place for Wolves where they are belonged and fill welcomed and not shunned and degraded. However that would mean finally ''Our'' souls are finally at rest. Float our Wolven bodies on the Lunar Pool floor

    I know some days Little Sister you don't tell me but I know sometimes you lay in your bed just I don't know the correct term but floating other than here but I've been a researcher of creatures. I wouldn't say I experimented on you but perhaps you feel I experimented way too much on myself. But to answer your question did you die? I ask that myself all the time did I die? You see you and I are almost like carbon copies. I asked Felix for some advice sense he is a version like me but only a fox I asked about Kitsune that chapter in my book is all scribbled with notes. But Felix told me a Kitsune is a fragile being but magical so is there flame and their tails. Once a Kitsune dies their flame also goes out depending how much light or darkness they hold they can morph into something much worse but you see a Shadow Wolf would be almost close into mutation but Saieh I believe you transmuted new life onto your Little Sister. Because you simply can't live life without her. If alchemy and transmuting yourself into her would mean her spirit would be anew and a new being formed that would make you happy at all cost. But back onto me what happened that day at the ocean all I remember is Little Sister shaking my tattered Wolven body with my broken war hound collar next to me. Ooze came out of my jagged Wolven jaw my eyes were faded crimson I was looking at something but I couldn't understand? Somehow Little Sister I think our memories are swirling together both pushing and fighting against each other for the ultimate truth

    The ocean just like a plug as to water Saieh Inc also has good metaphors haha
    The dagger met the split souls
    The Lunar couldn't figure out who was who anymore
    The dancing mask starting laughing
    You can't figure out who is who is anymore?
    That's because the wolves have formed a ''whole mask''
    Devious the enchanter of the lost and the salvation wolves
    Little Sister has finally awoken in her body
    In the end I knew this would happen the blossoming flower of paradise
    But this body is still home and this other Little Sister is still ''there''
    But in the end it's only figuring out who is ''existence'' and what is a ''lie''
    But in the end all I can see myself smiling in the wind slicing such beauty of the ''darkness''
    My eyes turn ice blue with a slit of crimson the day of the ''fire'' which I've ''lost
    But in the end mother will not return so everything has wilt and became a sown ''sorrow''
    The rampant of the ''fallen of the free of the hissing snake''
    I've dived and I've swam but I've drowned in my ''own reality''
    Only that I found myself ''muted''

    As a spirit could I die with her? What is to be shot ethereal? Little Wolf is my sister in fact she is the feather I’m the ethereal one two three I’ve been shot. My mind has become haywire. As a spirit I’ve been controlled festering more in her. My mind howls and her screams essence the thought of lost mother. I’m nothing but a ghost Saieh is I but a shadow was my creation haha!!!!! What is that? Don’t belong here? I will hold little Sister with grace struck beautiful doll fragile broken but that’s what I like you. As a spirit my soul has become free my body has been hanged!!!!! Saieh is known for I let the shadow fester this is darkness with the lie of the lightness of the ethereal which born a feather of translucent mask.....haha.....sister I will bury myself with your thoughts I will take my wolven head and slice my native spirit to the heavens I’ve become Obvioux a spirit of the rampant I will return I will be born anew my wings will open with little sister in my arms as I’ve a yearn love for my little sister as a spirit I will not leave I will remain and I will grow as each feather of madness will grow until we can find a motherly void to nestle in all hope and madness is an error of the puzzle and the dagger has cut through. Blood sorrow anguish I’ve become a very shadow spirit as of late can you tell who is who with this mask? I’ve fused my mind with hers I’ve become a tail of the snake. Reality you’re a lie but my sister has taught me otherwise but until the end this will not be my downfall but the downfall of the glowing faint mask because of a curtain of a lie is “ME”

    Neion Ourious Na - the damned of madness formed by a snake

    Reversal of the elements.....swirling madness noise....the icy cold wind.....did this “shatter our hearts?” Geh.....Little Wolf....he leans on me and turns his slits ice blue behind his crimson eyes his jaws ooze the paralyze venom can we paralyze are “hearts” mother had the love for all “eternal beings” we were “accepted” ah....the image of the frozen ocean me and Saieh curled up together “frozen kingdom” where are the “roots” me and Saieh stand up and hold our claws together.....we must....”return back into the void” a kingdom rebuild “root our hearts and souls to be renewed” a yearned desired....mother.....
     
     
    Two wolves brother and sister, the magician and the alchemist, forged by the shadow and the abyss transmuted with the ''Moon'' inside them. The task of the ''Lunar One'' burned swirling circle of red blood of the serpent, the middle a totem hanged with the Wolven Book Of The Shadows the ''Cursed Book'' and us together the chalice of the divine serpent! What else do we've to lose?! Nothing! We've nothing to lose do we Little Sister?! What is it to become one? One with your ultimate being ''YOU'' a solace of hatred madness and insanity to transmute and to transform yourself over and over. Deleting your mind reprogramming yourself ''Forsaken One''!! Cheers to you Little Sister! We drink the divine serpentine chalice our wolf limbs become numb we stare at the night sky the whisked shadow wind the last thought I had was of ''YOU'' blanked ''Forsaken eyes'' collapsed over on the Alchemy Circle we held paws as unbreakable love between Sister and Brother wolf holding paws together. We will reach paradise the ''Lunar Pool'' and to who the one I love, know this I will carry you throughout the end of time, drowning in the ''Lunar Pool'' I will always remember you. Just like how I always remember to keep transmuting my own self for this is my own doing....... 
     
     


    This place feels dead here. The flowers are rotten. The ground is everything bone and carcass. There is a death seed formed by a oak hollow branched tree with many branches. Where here death plays a sorrowful tune of suicide. The nooses form all over my body as I hold a noose close to me in my hand I look at the moon gazed across the oak hollow tree. So this is what death feels like isn't that so? Forsaken ''One'' I sit against the the oak hollow tree hearing the screams of the suicidal spirits a tune a hum that sounds like a despair of death itself spiraling. You know this tree belongs with many nooses, many indeed hanging across all the oak hollowed boned out branches, the noose of death, the noose of the suicidal spirits hung on all the branches. Oh what a beautiful tree you're. I look over I see a big black static wolf. His paws crushing the bones underneath him. His crimson eyes gaze at me. Telepathic thoughts come through ''Sister!!!'' he comes to me sitting beside me as I pet his beautiful handsome coat. I lay against his fur sighing and looking at the noose I've in my hand and I look into his crimson eyes. Brother I'm really scared! I nuzzle into his fur! I'm so scared of loosing this feeling I've! I feel like I'm in love! I shake his fur as he lets out a puff understanding my emotions! Losing this! As well as losing all these feelings!! Clinches the noose I hear a higher melody as the ''Night'' sings even more as I stare into my big brother's crimson eyes as the death pedals soar across us brother without you and the one I love how could I possibly go on like this? Now Little Sister we're the ''Moon Children'' we're bound to be cursed as he sets his paws gently on my shoulder I promise you I will keep you safe and happy as long as I can the Night's Tune becomes more frantic and more static like as the noose sway in the shadowed like wind as I take my big brother's paw against mine paw promise the ropes squeeze somewhat tighter around me I can't live like this anymore brother!!!! I know Little Sister trust me I know your happiness is important to me not something that's rotten here as with my big brother I lay against the hollow oak tree listening to the lull of ''Death'' next towards my brother wondering in ever so deep thought this is death's paradise where nothing is to be seen, nothing but hollowed out suicidal noose spirits and the tune of the ''Night'' O'' Forsaken ''One''. The rage inside, the love I've for you. To love a wolf


    Even if this lost reality, is a mer delusion of mine, it's not only that,but feeling a lively solitude of peace and happiness, it's a nice change for once. However so, better than feeling a bladed vortex across inside your internal body, like an empty space in your internal core. Even if such, feeling such fuzziness, ooze and warmness I feel alive. A wolf wanting to feel alive? You might call me a sorrowful being, pitiful for wanting such desires but I can't seem to live this life anymore. Not such sorrowful but a howl of change and being wanted. I always wanted love but I always danced in the allusions of the shadows I was always stuck in the abyss, the abyss stage always carried a static that edge across me consuming who I really was, I kept dragging myself like a sick wolf across the abyss always struggling grasping anything I could for a sense of escape and some kind of reward for fighting onward. I seem to notice as a wolf when I'm in dire sickness the Lunar seems to bless me before my soul of a wolf breaks into nothing, O'' so I shall see the Lunar wants to keep torturing me to make sure I become in check with my senses to become a stronger wolf than I once was, self reflection of knowing happiness is here and it's not some faded reality of mine I can feel certainty of this happiness, you either keep going in this realm or you drown in the abyss and become the forgotten sun. O'' Lunar reflection wolf blood stains the crystal floor, the pool oozes wolf blood, O'' tainted one you once bore of yourself of the shadow will be erased, self based Lunar reflections, is this some kind of sick trick on the behalf of my own wolf self? Ah! I never want to lose this feeling of mine if this is some trickery so be this so, but I will see this love through out the end of time, I never want to lose you, more or so looking upon the Lunar itself you've blessed me, but you always bless me when I'm almost dead is this what will carry on? Without you go ahead and put me in a Lunar catalyst core and put me into a sweet coma, sing me the Lunar, hum to me put me into a deep sleep Lunar One, Put me into a coma were I will never wake up, go ahead and stab me with the Banisher blade I know one day I'll prob will deserve this, I desire so much and yet you see me as a family, you probably wouldn't even have the guts to properly put me into a Lunar coma, the Lunar humming it's almost like floating drowning deep in the Lunar Pool, at least my last thoughts will be of you, all I ask of you, Lunar one is please let me drown with the one I love, even if it's just for one moment, My paw against my lover, all I ever wanted even if it's meant slipping , fear haunts me. I know I'm a cursed being of the shadows, but whatever takes me, please let this be with you, the wolf cries into a sorrowful despair a howl that sounds like death O'' sweet death if you ever do come to me, please let me spend one more time with the love of my life, then Lunar One lull me into a deep slumber afterwards never waking up, the thought of you gone will be a frozen crystal catalyst core for me, O'' Lunar one please keep me going, I know I studied you and your kind, I followed your orders one by one, you took me into your pretty 4 wings, please grab me drown me into the moonlight if it's torture at least I can get rid of this shadow I once bore, just to see a new start of reality, even if so a Magi of myself I want a new chapter in my book library of my thoughts, flipping the pages madly I think of you so, and so I want to keep doing so, I walk onto the blood stained crystal floor my wolf self dragging slowly and as my body lays limp the thought of you always races through my mind, I see your face through the Lunar reflection. Finally, I will keep fighting for this journey no matter how or how hard the challenge is, but my life is with you, but if whatever happens, I will take the curse burden on me and suffocate myself in the sweet moonlight, if the Lunar wants me, at least my final wish will be always let me see you, life without you is meaningless, O'' Lunar one don't let me down, I stare into the Lunar Pool with tiny drops of wolf blood and stare on the the reflection of us, I never want that to go away, whatever happens I want that to be with you, even if it's one last loving embrace, you are all I ever wanted, you will be the last one I want to be with to see if this wolf ever does go into a Lunar Coma, O'' take my paw and please go with me wherever I go never let me go, even if it's drowning somewhere deep into the abyss at least my final moment will be with you, I will close this chapter in my book library mind of mine I've finally found you, thank you for giving me a chance at life once again, oh such sweet solitude

    O'' dear abyss, a solace for me, somewhere in between where I can find death in sweet solitude. We the sounds of suicide and the mer tune of nothing. However you were the forgotten sun all along. It's a place as a wolf I know whenever I feel toward spiral of nothing I can throw myself in the abyss limp wolf body and all, curled up embraced by the shadow. Even if such I reach my paw up and drag my limp body as a wolf I seek a sense of escape, an escape of nothing, something of self worth. There in the forgotten sun my throne, O'' brother of a wolf Saieh, find me a divine serpent, bring me the chalice of the forgotten, bring be back the blood of the divine for I shall reign. Brought by you the divine jeweled serpent the chalice swirling in a pool of divine blood, I slowly drink the venom, ah sweet paralysis to feel this power again, the sorceress awakes, chalice of the forgotten falls, I lay my wolf limbs all limp over the throne, split forsaken eyes, the watcher of the shadows, for the divine serpent is my power. You brother laying next to my throne a fellow follower of the abyss yourself, we will take over the forgotten sun just you and I. One day we will fully escape but not the divine power, no not exactly but for what was the thrill of the hunt without the moon and the abyss itself and even the serpent without that we're nothing. Slowly I look into the swirling suicide spirits all over the abyss as I lay wolf limp mode on my throne, oh what a solace, is this emptiness? It's this my own Wolven way of seeing things, here I pull out the shadow wolf magician book, close to me on my throne holding such so dear, why won't you take me so on the darkest alchemy road? Oh I see, markings of the abyss, foolish one, dire and yet such you seek a sweet solace of death in your reign.

    Curled up holding two paws together brother wolf and sister wolf, one that is thin bony and a Shadow Wolf the other Abyss Wolf just like the depths of the forgotten burnt alchemy scars symbol of the crescent moon with the ever flowing clock of time holding into a fury of circle of death pain suffering remorse of own cursed being, the book past down from the Moon Wolfs.....the Cursed Book Of The Wolves, the darkest of alchemy and the Moon itself, self poisoned one by the jeweled serpentine towards healing our sick wolf bodies we're the divine ones born of the ''Moon'' the order of the ''LUNAR ONE'' the chalice of the divine serpent we're forever paralyzed slit forsaken eyes of the forgotten void. The howls of death and despair

     
    Even if this lost reality, is a mer delusion of mine, it's not only that,but feeling a lively solitude of peace and happiness, it's a nice change for once. However so, better than feeling a bladed vortex across inside your internal body, like an empty space in your internal core. Even if such, feeling such fuzziness, ooze and warmness I feel alive. A wolf wanting to feel alive? You might call me a sorrowful being, pitiful for wanting such desires but I can't seem to live this life anymore. Not such sorrowful but a howl of change and being wanted. I always wanted love but I always danced in the allusions of the shadows I was always stuck in the abyss, the abyss stage always carried a static that edge across me consuming who I really was, I kept dragging myself like a sick wolf across the abyss always struggling grasping anything I could for a sense of escape and some kind of reward for fighting onward. I seem to notice as a wolf when I'm in dire sickness the Lunar seems to bless me before my soul of a wolf breaks into nothing, O'' so I shall see the Lunar wants to keep torturing me to make sure I become in check with my senses to become a stronger wolf than I once was, self reflection of knowing happiness is here and it's not some faded reality of mine I can feel certainty of this happiness, you either keep going in this realm or you drown in the abyss and become the forgotten sun. O'' Lunar reflection wolf blood stains the crystal floor, the pool oozes wolf blood, O'' tainted one you once bore of yourself of the shadow will be erased, self based Lunar reflections, is this some kind of sick trick on the behalf of my own wolf self? Ah! I never want to lose this feeling of mine if this is some trickery so be this so, but I will see this love through out the end of time, I never want to lose you, more or so looking upon the Lunar itself you've blessed me, but you always bless me when I'm almost dead is this what will carry on? Without you go ahead and put me in a Lunar catalyst core and put me into a sweet coma, sing me the Lunar, hum to me put me into a deep sleep Lunar One, Put me into a coma were I will never wake up, go ahead and stab me with the Banisher blade I know one day I'll prob will deserve this, I desire so much and yet you see me as a family, you probably wouldn't even have the guts to properly put me into a Lunar coma, the Lunar humming it's almost like floating drowning deep in the Lunar Pool, at least my last thoughts will be of you, all I ask of you, Lunar one is please let me drown with the one I love, even if it's just for one moment, My paw against my lover, all I ever wanted even if it's meant slipping , fear haunts me. I know I'm a cursed being of the shadows, but whatever takes me, please let this be with you, the wolf cries into a sorrowful despair a howl that sounds like death O'' sweet death if you ever do come to me, please let me spend one more time with the love of my life, then Lunar One lull me into a deep slumber afterwards never waking up, the thought of you gone will be a frozen crystal catalyst core for me, O'' Lunar one please keep me going, I know I studied you and your kind, I followed your orders one by one, you took me into your pretty 4 wings, please grab me drown me into the moonlight if it's torture at least I can get rid of this shadow I once bore, just to see a new start of reality, even if so a Magi of myself I want a new chapter in my book library of my thoughts, flipping the pages madly I think of you so, and so I want to keep doing so, I walk onto the blood stained crystal floor my wolf self dragging slowly and as my body lays limp the thought of you always races through my mind, I see your face through the Lunar reflection. Finally, I will keep fighting for this journey no matter how or how hard the challenge is, but my life is with you, but if whatever happens, I will take the curse burden on me and suffocate myself in the sweet moonlight, if the Lunar wants me, at least my final wish will be always let me see you, life without you is meaningless, O'' Lunar one don't let me down, I stare into the Lunar Pool with tiny drops of wolf blood and stare on the the reflection of us, I never want that to go away, whatever happens I want that to be with you, even if it's one last loving embrace, you are all I ever wanted, you will be the last one I want to be with to see if this wolf ever does go into a Lunar Coma, O'' take my paw and please go with me wherever I go never let me go, even if it's drowning somewhere deep into the abyss at least my final moment will be with you, I will close this chapter in my book library mind of mine I've finally found you, thank you for giving me a chance at life once again, oh such sweet solitude.

    Born of that in such of madness. I only know madness. I only know judgement within oneself. Dire yet so of wrong doings. For ''I'' the bird of the madness. Madness mirrored eyes to reflect on my own insanity. I know for this in fact which I've become. I no longer understand what it's like anymore not only for myself but in my own self as well. Oh ''Mother'' I left your nest I left your nest I left your nest. Child of the Moon. Did I create your insanity or in such fact matter did I or in fact am the insanity.....I puff my feathers like a voided feathers that's that the puppeteer string of madness you....ah mother....you felt home. Just like the dire ''Wolves'' you seek. However our insanity is like ''One'' one the holder of madness the one of judgement seeker of wrong doings. Hunter. Seeker. Watcher. Madness like I an Avian race myself Val....Valisker the olden one. Dire yet I seek madness. I'm sorry mother I'm sorry mother I left your nest not only in fact such. I ran because my poor dear feathers. I didn't want you to see me again just like Saieh did. I locked up myself up and my insanity as ''One'' I collapsed myself. I collapsed myself out of pure poor will of myself. I sat there ''Boned'' a chained insane Avian in a deep coma. My feathers shedding for you each time a Madness bore inside of you festering in eternal madness. However in fact my feathers starting glowing as a sign of pure deep rooted hatred but in a sense I stood for judgement. Do you remember when Saieh let me go? my limp wing arms fell. Fell and collapsed. Saieh picked me up and took me because mother oh mother you looked for me you called me back ''Home'' there I heard you curled up crying mother I....mother I....mother I..... I tried jumping back into you but you curled up even more screaming help me!!! Help me!!!! I tried knocking you out nope that failed. Not only did that fall because the puppeteer was crying as well. I took quite a holding from you. There I reached out towards you hunting seeking and judging again. I wanted to be back ''Home'' again. Dire. Dire. Dire. Home where everything began. Even with one madness itself.

    To appear from what is lost towards given I don't know. Notice. Notice. Pain. Pain. Suffering. Suffering. Oh wait what are you talking about? I say with a forsaken grin. I'm imbued with all otherwise how would I live? I say with a sinister laugh how would I live? What are you talking about I fail towards understanding your desire and within oneself. You see I ripped apart many ''Tara's'' and made many more ''Anew'' each time a ''Tara'' failed I reprogrammed and made anew. A someone's dying wish no more in fact hypothermic state spirit it's only a will or a matter to try to salvage of what you can towards becoming ''Something'' else. Oh someone help me. Someone help me. However it's not that of a fact for a cry for help. It's you Saieh. I know I'm failing you big brother wolf. I know. I know. I know dying wolf yet so dire. So dire for alchemy So dire for murder. So dire for savageness. So dire for the Moon and Paradise. So dire for Hades. So dire and yet so weak only the Night's Tune will help us. Forsaken One. There I stood at the Celestial Door with nothing left but a ''hollowed body'' my head tilted sideways with my hair almost covering my eyes there slitting my eyes at the ''Lunar One'' I fall on my knees.I cried. I cried. Lunar One please. Lunar one please!!!! I curl up my limp wolf body in a remorse of help me!!!! Now now now forsaken one I got you. His four wings open up as he holds me close to me and he puts his claws on my face with a slight squeeze not hurting me. So cold and yet dire. Forsaken one. However so this is a new one isn't that so? He turns me to a tilt looking at my shoulder my bound symbol is even more potent now. My veins look toxic. The Lunar One squeezes me he tries to look away. His eyes turn a deep purple with a black slit I see a slight shed of a tear. His wings lower. I'm sorry that was unjustified of me. He takes me in another level in the ''Lunar Sphere' what is this? You never showed me this Lunar One why? Because....Because ''Dire'' I see a beautiful forested area with the Moon bright the Moonlight even burns my tainted wolf bones. The Lunar Ones drags his 4 wings on the floor and he folds them back in with ease. My eyes go into shock. There I see a ''Man'' tall and long black hair with piercing green eyes he gently sets me down on a throne and he looks at me. Forsaken One!!!! Attention!!!! I look at him he shows me alchemy scars all over his body he walks over to me you see I could never show you this because you would've ran from me and my path you see as well where the wing joint is he shows me 4 bound symbols each one is different. You became ultimate didn't you? You did everything to escape ''You'' Lunar One why? He sits right next to the shining Moonlight I see there absorbing the energy with his eyes slitting more into mirror pieces. There he clicks in his claws a sphere. Lifeless. Dire. Insanity. He sits up opening his four wings again. Forsaken One? His eyes in still mirrored pieces he comes over to me. ''Stay'' ''Stay'' ''Stay'' ''Stay'' poisonous one.

    There, stood in my dream in a place other than here. Run Saieh Run Saieh Run Saieh. The pitch black Wolf of the night runs with the shadows, the sways of the tree. Madness. Madness. Desire. Desire. Wants Wants. Venom. Venom. Intoxicating Kingdom. You took everything from my sister. Almost everything. You bastards. There two bladed hunters. You really? Fools. Mer fools desire and so weak. You always were after my Sister and I. I ran as fast as my black paws would go. There I stopped I transformed. I screamed in agony. There I stood skeleton wings coming out of my back! Ah!!!! Sister no!!!! Big Brother's eyes flash bright ice blue. Large canine vamperic fangs. Big brother stood tall. The hunters stopped the tried to run run run run run from everything. With the speed of darkness there Saieh flew of the speed of the shadow. There I saw Saieh ultimate transformed. This is what you wanted to become is that so? You're are the poisonous one of the Paradise tree? There I stood watching looking over big brother his fangs oozed with black venom flowing blood red. There I noticed something paralyze paralyze. I will paralyze you just like my sister's heart was paralyzed you f**king fools. There I saw Saieh taking the two hunter's by their neck strangling them like pathetic dolls and sucking the life force out of them. No mercy. The old ways. The old forbidden ways. He flung them down. He turned facing me. Sister.... would you love me for the monster I'm? Would you love me in fact not such a monster but trying to become a final form for you. I want to be there when nobody will be. I look over at Saieh's wing's with a shed of crystal formation Saieh? His eyes turned back into Crimson red he falls down holding me!!!! Mother Wolf Goddess please!!!! Please speak to me!!!! There for one of the rare moments Saieh sheds the tear of the fallen sun. Fallen sun forsaken and forgotten dire and yet thirsty and thirsty for a change of a way of life. Forbidden. Lunar One. Wolf Goddess. Paradise. Thrones. Hades whatever damned path will take me so. Please let me have this path with you. I want to be with you. Know matter how dire or whatever is thrown our way we will fly!!!! Fly somewhere other than here!!!! There together we will find ''You''

    The question is Saieh, Paradise you say? Do you think you and I will ever reach that desire? We've been trying for ages beyond the Moon itself. However in such as I look at him as I hold my Big Brother paws with a squeeze as I look into his crimson eyes you know Big Brother is all that's left now that matters now. In fact it's all I desire now I shake my head and I take his arm with a pull and he walks with me and we look into the dense fog of the forest with the moonlight between us you know about your Little Brother Saieh you were wondering about the Little Wolf you raised besides me? Do you think he will be waiting at Paradise? I'm sure we will find him there. We sit down on a log I lean on his shoulder and I look at him squeezes is fur with a slight tear as the Moon cries deep within my soul. He looks down at me you know Little Sister you are the Moon itself an embodiment of the Moon you and the Moon and the Wolves itself he takes me of his shoulder and he takes my paws and he starts to dance with me. You see Little Sister I never gave up on you or the missing Little Brother at all he twirls me around and he picks me up. Little Sister child of the Moon he grins and his eyes swirl of crimson with a slight shadowed grin. Suddenly he holds me close as a sense of dead coldness comes near as the trees sway with the shadows. Big Brother holds me close as he kneels down. Ah! What the f**k we both feel like collapsing and sinking our eyes start to get really heavy. I slowly fade from my brother's paw the last thought I had was of you and the love I've for you as I look at the Moon one more time before I slowly go into a deep sleep. However in a sense of long time my eyes open there I see my Big Brother in a semi dazed stated kneeling and his paws on his knees. I barely hear a whisper Little Sister? He barely tilts his head over and can barely make out a small Wolf Shadow. We both slowly look up there stood before us the Lunar One his 4 wings lowered looking at us. Paradise you say? Paradise where one can find the forbidden. Where all Wolves will run free with the Moon itself. Forever connected with the Moon itself. Where Paradise one soul can be at rest. He grins and shrugs as he barely lifts up his wings. You see the one of my Lunar Ones. That one that followed the Celestial itself. You embodied myself didn't' you guys? You guys tried to become rooted towards Paradise itself. He shakes his head you foolish Wolves he grins. What would Paradise mean to you? Lunar One gets closer towards us he picks up my Big Brother by the fur and looks up at him scanning him up and down. I see you aren't you? You the leader of Paradise? The one of the right of the throne. Heh I see your determination. You seek transmutation with the roots of Paradise as well. He sets my Big Brother next leaning towards me. He comes over to me with wings fully opened and he scoops me up. I see Child of the Moon not only that you're but you are the Paradise seeker the one that will set the Wolves free from torment and eternal suffering. You're the nourishment of Paradise itself. I also see as well you want beautiful wings like me? You always saw me as your full ultimate form didn't you not? You wanted to become me! However you're the left of the throne. Duel you and your Big Brother are. Come! He moves his wings rapidly and Big Brother was able to move. We see a forbidden pool. You want to do a little diving no? Now now now it's okay I will let you this time. Big Brother dives in the pool. I hear a slight howl. However before I enter the pool I sit down and I put my paws together and I pray. The Lunar One grunts and looks over at me. You never forget your duty do you Child of the Moon? He grins. Now enough praying. I join my Big Brother as I hold his paws and we curl together like a crescent moon shape. Everything slowly feels super dazed again. I try looking up I see a grin and I see blood dripping from the Lunar Pool as I see the Lunar One's arm bleeding. You see you two Wolves. You will find what you're looking soon enough! We slowly start sinking. The Lunar One walks over with blood slowly dripping on the Celestial Floor as he takes his arms and starts sucking his own blood. Ah the blood of the Celestial! Tasty! His arms heals. As the Lunar One heads over towards his throne and he looks over. Paradise? Will this point of time will you find Paradise? Suddenly everything felt a slight change a shift. We no longer feel like we're swimming in the Lunar Pool. I smell the forest and the Moon itself. Me and my Big Brother kick are Wolven Feet only feeling damp grass. We slowly open our eyes. Forest everywhere. The Moon is gigantic. There is a small pool in the middle. Wait what?! Big Brother stops for a second there we see a Little Wolf rooted from the roots of Paradise itself. The Little Wolf that saved me from drowning from a Serpentine only to have myself being bitten by the blood of the Serpentine itself. Oh well the Slayer did his job. He shakes his head. You see I kept Paradise alive for you two. He shakes his paws as the roots tighten around him. I know you would find Paradise one day. I knew you would. Look over there you two. We see two thrones one on the right and one on the left. Saieh takes the right of the Throne. As I Little Wolf sits in the left of the Throne. What will make of Paradise Little Sister? I noticed Little Sister feeling quite underneath the fur and she slowly slips from her Throne. Big Brother gets up and looks over at Little Brother Fenhi. Paradise? Poisonous Paradise? Will you be the one towards setting us free? Saieh comes over and picks me up and sets me in the small pool there I feel like I'm floating I feel free from everything. I shed a small tear. A tear from the scream of the Moon itself. I see myself floating with wings. Wings of salvation of the Wolves. I struggle getting my eyes open. I look at the Moon. Thank you for everything. Thank you for letting me feel Paradise. It's all I ever wanted with myself. One day Lunar One I will make Paradise a land of the Wolves. I promise! I won't forget my duty! I've always wanted this my eyes slowly start to fade thinking of him again. I try opening my eyes again. Lunar One if you ever need well not in fact need my own will or my own wings for the ultimate Paradise. Whatever I don't have nothing left now but Paradise. I.....I reach my Wolven arm out towards the Moon. I.........thank you......as I slowly fade away in a deep Lunar Coma. Thinking of you. Thinking of the rooted Paradise I shall create. This is the only way of life now. Thank you Lunar One..........
     
    There I stood dancing like a graceful wolf with wings I come in realization with my paranoia and trauma it's almost like a controlling sense I want everything I love and care about too be next to me and only me it's all about me self scared of losing self control of things being taken away from me I've lost full control over my insanity and Wolven self this is a given fact truth. However in a mer fact I've lost myself and my way I sit there looking up at the night sky wondering when? When will I find myself? When will I find Paradise? When will I seek this peace within my soul? I'm self conflicted with my own self and will almost self worthlessness I don't know anymore. But I've in fact understood something. There I hold the mask the left part speaks I'm Felix I'm the amber I'm the fire of the sun I'm also pride but I'm also sense of judgement of the forgotten sun I'm the heat and the fire of your desire you seek. The right side of the mask speaks I'm Val or Valisker the hone of your madness part of your insanity I'm the bird of judgement I'm also the strings of the puppeteer I'm the pure insanity I'm the bird of the mirrors. The top mask speaks I'm Saieh the true holder of you I'm the intuitive I'm the warrior and magi I'm also the ego and the pride in you. The bottom of mask speaks. I'm the soul of you the worthless one I'm the dire one and the forsaken one. I fall down holding the mask self conflicting with myself there as I fell down I hold the mask as my body and arms and paws shakes and as I clutch and my Wolven eyes open wide however mer so I know the truth this is ''ME'' all of this is ''Me'' look at the disastrous mess I've become thank you for becoming ''One'' and of course the holder of ''Souls''
    Child of the Moon/Chapter 89763

    There I stand at the gates of the underworld, dressed as the Child of the Moon itself. Winged celestial outfit. As in a way I saw Hades standing there as if he was waiting for me and he grinned while he halted his hell hounds. However Hades looked at me like so Saieh is rampant again? I also feel Child of the Moon this isn't your doing. I feel the reason why Saieh has gone crazed is his wavelengths and his Wolven form is growing the added stress between you two are creating a voided explosive vortex. Hades moves my outfit a bit only to uncover the shoulder. What the f**king Underworld? He shouts. My bounded symbol has turned into an arrow and the crescent moon upside down with the bound marks slashed in a X pattern and with 3 coming across. Hades puts his claws on my shoulder blade. No this is quite bad. Very bad. One of my ''Hounds'' has only came this close to transforming this bad. Saieh has completely lost control. Damn!!!! Damn!!! Hades goes over to his underhounded library there he pulls out a tome. However I never thought I would be pulling the forbidden tome out not in my sake is this forbidden tome. He shakes his head his claws turn into a blueish hue almost turning blood red. Saieh Saieh Saieh ''THE WOLF'' Vampire father Wolf Goddess Mother. Hmmmmm? What is this? Saieh's Totem is upside down as well. Hades looks at me a broken collar at this state will require more than just alchemize like I did before in the past because taming him isn't easy. I need the jewel of the serpentine itself and a scale and a pluck of his fur. No ''Ordinary Serpentine'' won't do you see Child of the Moon. Hades takes me further down and he sets me down on a throne he has made me and he hands me staff. Rise! My fellow Magi! May the Shadows watch over you. For the darkest hours of awaking will arise.

    Saieh's translation/Chapter/98760

    Sister of the Moon? Why? I don't know myself anymore? What is wrong with me? There I see his crescent warrior axe stabbed in the deep forested grass. There I see him in his human form his feathers on his hair swaying in the wind. However I took a deeper look his collar was right beside the axe and I even notice his Wolven Totem was upside down. However as Saieh gazes across the sky he turns his eyes ice blue. Father what would you do? His eyes pulsate back towards faint crimson red Wolf Goddess? He collapses he shakes his head. I run over to him a giant serpentine hovers him. His jewels shine and his scales are so bright. I saw the fangs open. I run over and I hiss get away from my big brother!!!! Get away from my big brother now!!!! My eyes pulsate forest green. I pull out my Magi staff as that was bathed in the Underworld as well. Suddenly everything disappeared ''?'' Saieh wavelengths are snapping. Saieh gets up he turns his eyes ice blue again he opens his Wolven Pouch and takes out the Wolven Book. Saieh shakes his head and says would I do even something so disastrous? Would I even do this to Little Sister no I wouldn't. His arms turn into a crescent moon upside with a straight arrow going across. Little Sister. No No!!!! I run over holding him close clutching is pitch black fur. He looks over at me Little Sister I'm sorry but I....
     

    I no longer care anymore because
    I've finally found my way in reality I've gained a 7th sense
    I can finally see through the clouds of reality and the false lies and deception
    I can finally see the through the false illusions
    Why self harm? Why self hatred you ask? You brought the worst out of me
    I never said you have to love me because feeling sorry or me is shameful
    I never said you had to be friend of mine but you wanted to so I wouldn't be alone
    I've become hone with my insanity I've become a new being
    I've become one with myself my spirit I've created ''spiritual insanity''
    If you ever said sorry I can't communicate with you anymore that's fine I'll communicate with the demons in my soul/spirit/wavelengths
    Your lectures sicken me I no longer see the fact of humanity
    My eyes have seen through the clouds I finally knew what I was doing with humanity because in all reality I was living a false smile/happiness pending towards enjoying humanity I was basically in a play theater
    The Lycan rites always will be strong with me and they will not shelter my thought of humanity
    The Moon of the rites will always guide me and that's the truth
    Truth is a hurtful thing and even is more deadlier than a blade itself
    Lying is such a sinful thing but the most I've lied about was my own will and existence
    All I can ask one simple thing well maybe not so simple for some but can't you open your eyes with reality once more and see that this creature has evolved her insanity and most importantly herself and her new 7th sense
    I've fully became in touch with my own madness
    Until Valhalla takes me and I see the very depths of such
    All is lost

    My mission now is only dire forsaken voided lifeless but at the same time
    My transmitters has been strung cut which is lethal towards a magi done wrong
    I can reprogram myself at will once but it's not that easy 
    Human? I lost my human shell she's gone now and so is my angel
    Truth hurts but I know now days nobody likes honesty 
    Honesty hurts like a blade I like things honest and on a platter
    I value words of advice but know this I'm a wolf and that's all
    Wolves the true one stick towards the Lycan and always the Wolven Rights
    Loki Valhalla will know my path in given time
    Nobody says you have to be friends with me force friendship is bulls**t
    Nobody says you have to be with me to feel sorry for me 
    I know my views are harsh now but my reality is distorted
    This is a curse a burden by the Wolves and the mark of the Moon heh


    Would you ever lose faith in a creature like me and my spirit?
    What if the obstacle course broke? What if there was a horrible relapse?
    I'm dangerous you see and my spirit we're cursed we're deeply rooted
    We're toxic we're a disease just like myself and my spirit. However mer so....I still fear for the worst and that is all I can say....because this is the damn truth deep from the soul spirit and psyche....I've turned for the worst and my spirit has turned deep rooted and so the roots shall spread and infectious disease I'm a mess I'm a disaster if I do lose you I wouldn't be surprised anymore

    There stood a forest with spider webs everywhere there I saw Saieh with a knife in his hand as he turns his head upside down and looks at me me with blood crimson eyes. What is life? What is determination in someone's will once that is gone? What is this emotion? It's not emptiness but almost feel like I'm floating. In fact this dire insanity with me feels like the old Saieh which I don't want you to feel as he holds up the blade and turns his head back to normal. I see sharp deadly quick. Just like a form of insanity I've become dear sister why? Why could've saved? Why could've not? Was I to caught up on myself or was I just blind? What a spirit if I can't redeem myself I will kill every last reptilian!!!! He throws the knife at the tree and pulsates his eyes ice blue damn you all you took everything from me and little sister!!!! Saieh lets out a howl that sounds like sorrowful death. I notice crystals coming out of his arms as black ooze comes out of his arms. Ahhhhhhh I will avenge you sister I will.....I come behind Saieh and I put my arms his Saieh it's okay please just rest for me please. We're both cursed beings and this is are fate. You tried brother was also my duty I wasn't a strong demon hunter of the reptilians myself we both failed please stay with me Saieh as a spirit I need you I close my eyes and hum him the Lunar Tune. Brother rest now dear dire wolf come with me. I promise you I will find paradise for you the land of the wolves where the wolves can run free without a sin nor curse nor burden but this is the way keeps humming to Saieh and I pull him back and I hold his claws. Love between big brother and little wolf. Saieh please hang on a little longer

    There is nothing the can save yourself now because you've found the ''sky'' you found the way through the ''illusions'' I'm living a theater play. One swish of the whiskey glass pondering thoughts ' reality? ''sinking'' one zip of whiskey goes down like poison just like myself in fact it's always a question of how many times have I self poisoned myself maybe way to much to count. I stare and look at the glass look at this pool like a serene way to shut up my demons because that's all I've is playful demons another shot goes down another shot goes down can I've another shot please? I say with a smile. Thank you I shake the whisky glass. Ah what a sweet serene way of life. Ah a tune of the Night O shadowed one sing me a tune of sweet death

    The 7th sense I shall name you ''Sky'' Skyja would be one but ''Sky''
    Finally such lies and depiction had may me see through the clouds but most importantly I took a breath in and I opened my eyes I saw the reality in my eyes the clouds the sky in a burning sun like I wish but my desires burn brighter a salivation for the wolves where one can find Paradise within oneself. I saw the world on fire. Like I set my own life on fire I set everyone on fire I was a wild caged animal without a collar I refused I fought everyone that tried to come close to me. Because my fire burns pure in my heart. A theater like play I was in I felt like I was in the spotlight I was happy I was dancing with people I thought I was truly happy but I wasn't. There a sad drama play went I thought I understood sorrow and deep Hell but what I saw sorrow was my own existence and what was in Hell was the thoughts in my head. I thought for a second if I could tilt my head u my visions would come clear of the 7th sense I lowered my head only to say hmmmmph this is what has become of me