Newest now and today and forever

  • So I wanted to say sorry for everything that I stood for and I couldn't stand in front of you with the whole peace of the mask. With this insanity I can't seem too move on what's holding me down the most like a anchor. Constantly your image of you is fading and I can't seem to find you anymore in my eyesight of the wolves themselves. I tried so hard too remember you mother my spirit and my real mother but I can't. For the Snake has risen from my wolf head and the heart of venom. I know perhaps this isn't the path you wanted me too take when you left this physical and spiritual plane. But I'm a duel fang I give life and destroy. The main qualities that I've within self I destroy myself and friendship out of bitterness and never ending hatred and jealously . Jealously as sharp as the wind that cuts the petals of dream city where I stood in the cityscape of the lighted city where the sound was muted like my ''Wolf Ears'  the ethereal quiet wind was enough to carry me through with my broken heart as I take the beast mask off my face thinking how many friends I destroyed because I was so angry and frustrated at myself and life and let my loved one gone. I'm sorry. I sit on the top of  skyscraper hill the image of me in a lotus potion holding a blue and white center with cracks in the pendulum and a dark aura in the center. The blue of my sorrows and  the white because I want to be pure and the blackness of my mind and poisonous venom snake heart that holds close to home. There my face is gone but with the beast mask attached to my face. I'm sorry to save everyone I became attached to the beast itself with the four pointed horns and can you guess what the top of the crown is? Sadness. Jealously. Remorse. Anger. The three horns on each cheek of the mask is my lower strength. Love. Happiness. Kindness. Those are lost but I try to understand those emotions  which have faded like the faded petal blossoms of paradise. I'm sorry everyone that the flower that I'm faded at the cityscape as my image of myself disperses a sun appeared. Forgiveness I cannot  anymore sun. I will not see the sun with you one more time but I will see myself at the suicide oak tree where I met you Saieh my static husband and father of our spirit sons. The tune of darkness and shadow of the ''Darkened One'' the tune of death sounds nice and peaceful. I can see clearly now the wilted flower and the petals of lost love. I couldn't paint your love onto me and I wanted so much for the paint to fuse into the body too hope your love could stay with me forever. Please I'm sorry. I can't anymore. The paintbrush fall from the artist hand in the dark oak tree as the beast mask turned over too a shadowed one the Spider King falling from the web  and the gold weaver orb was handed to me. There I sat down holding the gold weaver orb to me thinking what if I was gold inside like alchemy full and pure of alchemy. The King of Spiders sat beside me and whispered ''You see while the King's Robes were on you I nested and created a orb for you hoping your life will start over again and you will complete my final 8th eye of the ''Spider'. Stay in Hell forever darling. Stay in Hell forever darling. Stay in Hell forever darling. But does that mean I can take my love there in Hell and take you down in the depths of Hell with me. While the demon ''ME'' laughs in the middle of Hell? Perhaps then I can paint a beautiful new picture of your love onto my body and dance with you in Hell. Perhaps I can return a beautiful flower into paradise city known of the dreams of paradise and dreams themselves silenced forever like my life and starting over with you my darling. Staring over with you darling. Starting over with you darling. There the quiet petals can become soaring again filled with ''LIFE'' that couldn't give to you.  Even if that life I couldn't give you I wanted to give you a headpiece full of ribbons so that way you can always feel my transmitters even if you were fully ''GONE'' from m wolven eyes and I couldn't hear you anymore. That would be a terrible feeling not able to withstand this emotion and feeling I'm feeling now. Even so standing in Hell with The Golden Spider Orb that was given to me. There is many things I see with the visions of the gems of the eyes of Mother Snake. ''I see and became one with the orb itself'' the vision and the future of myself. There was was a vision of the beast mask fallen from the Underworld of given of time. There was lifeless eyes like the lifeless dream cityscape. There was no life to be seen. Does that mean I can't see beyond life of itself without you darling. Without you darling. Without you darling? The beast mask falls in the Black Water being sucked up by ooze. The ooze of the bleeding in my heart as I known what I done to you darling. What I done to you darling. What I've done to you darling. I fed you sweet poison from a chalice of the snake. Paralyzing you so you can fall underneath the spell of my miasma love to you. But you see that side of me is still beating strong and I want to pick up the ''CANVAS'' and start painting you back on the flower I will place in the deadest of paradise. Then the ''COLLAR'' of Hades the three dogs come to image. The collars on my hand the spikes the command of flames itself. I will protect you even if this is my duty. Even if it's my duty to make the ''Petals Blossom'' deep sleep in the Black Shrine Maiden ''asleep'' in in the Underworld forever. Carried by Hades himself and put on the boat itself but I'm not going to float down on the other side no. I'm going to put on the Yggdrasil Tree that is black ''Hanged Upside' Down' but ah I should start on the second vision the cleaver of life and death of Mr Spider. So Mr Spider said what is wrong with your twin daggers? Can you not feel the slicing wend of petals and a crying epitaph of the user? Can you not feel this ''PAIN'' that I'm feeling from ''YOU''? Look me into the 8th eye which is you? ''Distorted in time'' and while you're at that why is your other side of the dagger competing with death to the ''Petals Underneath the Blooming Mask'' come now child burst with me and we will have two mask ''The Wolf and the Spider'' you see when my cleaver clashes with your twin daggers the life and death part of the cleaver blade speaks to me ''I'm dying but I want to give life into a new flower and I want to put that on the highest building and I want to fly off the building into a petal wrap and come out with a dried raven feathers'' ah you see pupil could I let you hold my cleaver? I wonder if my cleaver will speak to you and weigh heavy on death. Dancing spider. Dancing Spider. Dancing Spider. Tired. Dethroned in pain of transformation of the body the 8th eye coming out of the Spider Mask. Oh pupil what could this be? Take a seat in my High Clock tower of Hell where the time ticks too ''Nothing'' I want you to hold my cleaver to you like a dear broken flower petal. I want you to see what my cleaver speaks to you. If I could give the cleaver to ''YOU'' that's because you carried  the ''Spiders Nest'' like a true mother like you really are. Even then I can see myself with a King's Robe and and Queen's Guard charm of the golden orb there I can see myself following a cloak of dried raven feathers and silk strands of the Spider King himself Bel Bel. I'll carry you all through. Even if this means my vessel one day burst. But you see I will see myself soon on the top of the cityscape holding the cleaver of life and death you gave me Mr Spider and I'll make sure to see everything 'blossom'' the way you want things to and the 'eggs'' all hatched out of the nest becoming a hive. That way this place won't be quiet anymore the howling insanity and the fading blossoming petals. When you come back Mr Spider you will see a fully abstract canvas of the soul of the ''USER'' and how much I carried you through darling. As much as I carried you through darling. As much as I carried you through darling. However that might be for certain darling you will see my face ''SPLIT'' into two ''DIFFERENT MASK'' and that I will hand you that is for certain. But if all I can produce is a black flower in the darkest part of my soul would you still accept that and still love me darling? Won't you still love me? Looking down upon the frozen haze of dreamcity I lift ''UP MY MASKS SLOWLY'' hoping I can vision you once more ''blind'' once was and so was my wolven ears deaf. But you see even though I hold the cleaver down close to me holding the cleaver close to my chest. I sense death is beating for me closer at the edge of time. I hope darling you can visit me before the haze turns ablaze and dispenses into a thousand frozen sun shard pieces and this place will turn into a nightmare and won't be a dream of a city but a dream of my nightmares. But darling I hope you come like the clicking clock noise of the High Tower of Hell. I'll be waiting at the end of time as eternal as my pain for you darling. As my eternal as my pain for you. As eternal as my pain for you.