Blogs » Time to decphier, those that lay in Black Water's Ooze. Updated

Time to decphier, those that lay in Black Water's Ooze. Updated

  • So I updated this blog because the font and font size made this unreadable. I also edited a few things like I found my Space Hey blog the correct one that has my 2017 spiritual writing blogs + a loose one that isn't here. But yeah basically my profile is going in revamping mode because man when I clicked on my spiritual writings the first thing I thought was this. I don't know how anyone can read everything LOL. People should've gotten a trophy reward or something because I'm like wut on? LOL.

    Listen to my favorite soundtrack of all time and nothing will override this as my favorite anime soundtrack! Get your headphones on and let's start my spiritual writings and let's go!
    What is my star sign and Chinese element and animal?
    Sign: Pisces and Aries cusp so that's what Google says about my birth date.
    I'm also a Water Rooster.
    Current height and weight 5 and last weight was found at 96 pounds but I'm normally 92-96 pounds.
    These are random spiritual writings. At times when I did spiritual writings I wanted to do small ''messages and metaphors on a silver platter'' and that has stuck with me ever since
    For ''HE'' the long flowing hair of the Abyss. The ''Painter'' will indeed come for you. The one that sleeps in the Abyss for he has missed his love that drowned him in the Abyss. For ''HE'' put the beast mask over the sleeping ''ONE''
    One of the wolf heads put a vampire robe on. The one that tried guarding her with the many ''bullets of the coat'' instead turned his shadow onto her wisp making them ''ALIVE''
    When I loved you. I was the devil then. But your love brought some kind of madness within myself. You see you loved a devil and you loved many colorful personalities but your ink of the soul should be permanently next to mine darling.

    Doesn't matter what color of the day. I'm one of many everyday. The question is can you love a devil and become madness as well? Tell me would you allow me to carry your soul in a box with a spiritual ink pen. You see, I tried to love you. But it really happened that day my darling I....
    You've angered the King of Kings. Many have mistaken me for a fly or a gigantic fly but that's the most disrespectful thing you can call me. I've a more important matter on my sharp claws. Someone really made my Princess heartbroken and sad. I take great pride in her and the one I brought back to life. She didn't deserve to die. Princess no Queen Of the Wolves and the only one too deserves my King of King Robes. Most that summon me normally don't get this kind of attention but for her there is something I like? No, is that love? When I place my sharp pointy claws on my lip her fire in her gray wolf eyes burn with the desire of paradise and painting that black sweet child of mine I'll make you a bed full of the most royal and noble fabric you can only think of enchantment to keep you safe from harm. You're my princess and the one that gave me a gold enchantment charm for my black hair with my long horns that curl upwards some when I'm mad isn't that way you say sweet one? Don't worry Mr Bulba will make things better if not I'll make sure to dine someone's head on a platter cooked down into stew your favorite and seafood and and a nice bundle of Juniper leaves on the table. I would hate for Mr Bel Bel to be awoken out of his sleep and command his hives of Spiders if I had to do that. Tisk what a shame. I'll show you the real King of Kings soon once the Robe is completely veiled over you princess. I'll protect you and of course you've one more thing that you asked me will I kill off your real vessel of service? No not at this time your service has soared higher than the King of Spiders jumping on the High Clock Tower of Hell and the day you became friends with him with your hurt gray wolf eyes and my silver swirly eyes looking at you handing him a demon fruit apple you tried growing yourself. That will always be a cherishing smile on my demonic King Of King's grin dear Princess and that also makes me say Uphir is also proud of you. You're a great asset and a princess of Hell. I will not cut off your sigil on your shoulder. You're one of the special few that I just don't call my child that I rescued and call my own but you're a Princess of Hell and hopefully the true Demon Wolf Queen beside me. You see Mr Bulba will make all things better for you dear one.

    And most importantly dear Princess that I hope to put a veil on top of your hidden tuft of a Demon Wolf Queen head I do love your spirit children and not many know me as a soft King of Kings demon and letting you live your life. Heh that makes me grin, dear one.

    As the King Of Kings himself I like those that serve me to die of a noble death in the spirit and the collapse of the physical body. To craft the ultimate stone inside the body to revive and conceal. As well as little did you know my Princess you protected Spider's brother so in return I protected you and devoured your enemies in The Black Water Shrine. I also fed your enemies boiled down seafood pot with a dragon bone and watched you at the dinner table eating your enemies at the devourer themselves. You see sweet one your life might be mine but perhaps this is love and looking at a new seat for you - Mr Bulba To The Queen Of The Wolves.

    You see Princess I never told you why I let you live the way you live in the spirits sense I know princess you're always curious when you're sitting over the High Clock Tower of Hell watching over Spider to make sure his rest is okay and Bel Bel's hive is in check and your answer is your life has already been taken away and your life died of a noble death. You already had your angel taken away from you and never is coming back. You protected and shielded Spider's brother when you didn't when you passed out in the physical realm I scratched my sigil onto your shoulder and when you died in the spirits I picked you up. I knew that I could put the ultimate stone in your chaos wheel to hopefully bring you back to life. Your enchantment and your devotement to Hell is what makes me happy, surprising or not for King Of Kings himself. Uphir is pleased even though your chemistry work is sloppy your healing skills are getting better and your teaching how to make ''wisp ceremonial boxes'' surprising or not I enjoy our feast at the table and I hope Bel Bel gets better from transforming too much but I'm glad to see he gave you his Golden Orb for eyesight when he sleeps and you can rest soundly in your noble enchanted bed as a barrier to protect The True Queen Of Wolves. Perhaps this is an obsession with you unlike my other children that I've rescued in the past. Perhaps this is love for another queen I want by my side in Hell. Your passion and desire is pure as well but there is a tainted psyche and a will to paint things black. Darling sweet my Princess I promise on my sharp claws I won't cut your life just yet and not till my horns probably curl even more and my silver swirls turn darker. I'm sure when the King Of Spider wakes up he's probably going to see me grinning and while you're laughing in the middle of Hell with your ''pure Queen Of Wolves Crown with the two demon masks on both of the Queen Of Wolves on the shoulders smiling and being happy cocooned and wrapped in my King of King Robes on your shoulders a Queen Guard's Robe'' a protector and one by my side only you my Princess and shall that be chosen dear my Princess and The Only Queen Of The Demon Wolves.

    So does things matter if the defense never wins? What is to a broken butterfly prism wings towards the drowned feathers of a raven? Even so then I wonder what would be the difference if I didn't feel any defense at all in the spirits as in reality? Hazed numbness feels interesting but trying to smile at family or the small friends you talk to and even final paws faking a smile or laughter but in the final paws end verdict what are you laughing at? Your insanity? Or your insanity that's surrounding you like a force field? Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Vol. Vol. Vol. But in the end the forgetfulness means I would be filled with insanity and rage and the constant remorse and suffering of how I failed you mother. But you wouldn't seem to come to me. However that could be my own thought process because I choose to forget you and forget who I really am. Creating different versions of ''Tara'' hoping one would be molded correctly and one programmed perfectly hoping that one day I will find the correct parts of myself. But I simply can't do that because I can never seem to find the correct part in the terminal data bank. But that's not only the case, I can't seem to hear the seraphs anymore and their voices don't call out to me anymore as you do mother. I am consumed and drowned. Please help me. Promised pain. Promised pain. Promised Pain. I gave my pain to you and eternal. Eternal like the Abyss. Ah, set me free! Ah, set me free! Ah, set me free! Crying raven that has drowned. Crying Epitaph. Rage! I will defend myself even if that means hurting you even though I'm in love. You see I don't mean to be the way I'm or biting the hands that feed you. You see this is my given love. You see this is my given love. You see this is my given love. My love of insanity. My love of intoxicating myself. My love of self destroying myself. Please! Let me take you down the Abyss and let me show you the prisms of the lightest butterfly. The prisms that showed me the true eyes of the screaming vessel bursting with the Spider's Mask. He, the King of Spiders, has shown me through. You see, the Demon King told me to never show your true colors out to people or others. But I will show my true colors to myself when nobody is looking. Perhaps that's why I'm laughing at myself or have a sinister grin on my face because I know and because I know how many times my vessel has been created. That part of me never changes, hoping to self delete something I want to be rid of. Ah! Moving vessel the Spider of Kings has become a hive inside of you because now I can see everything the power of the Demon King's grasp because I've nothing left anymore. You see the undying. The undying vessel of wanting to change and shall the drowned black raven hair drown and sink in the shrine of the Black Water floating down and shall the Spider's Mask crack open more and fully burst open where the vessel finally becomes ''ALIVE''. This is for certain where I stood at you at this place, the empty throne of Hell that was made for me. I remember my new blade fused from my static husband's shadow blade and my banisher blade gifted to me by the now dead celestial and the celestial land filled with poisonous trees because I love bio because because bio means life and I fail deeply at life as deep as the feeling of drowning or wanting to make me feel like drowning when I hear water or myself in the shower and living in the physical plane and I want to give life but in a different way. No not spirit pups or my only real life pup but something yet I can't grasp or understand or know the correct word in my data bank is unknown. Slaughtering of the diseased and the sinners. Because how the trickster danced in Hell laughing holding the beast seal but ah shall we get on now with the show? Should we get on with the show? Should we get on with the show? I held my jagged water and ice blade close to your face Mr Bulba. To see your eyes glow silver swirls bright as the darkened sun of Vol but you see the water and ice is shown in my personality and the reflection of how I feel about my current psyche state. But you see Mr Bulba you only slanted your eyes at me and grinned. Because you made me your child. Because you made me your child. Because you made me your child. Because when I died I tried making myself fully bound by Hell and slowly building the Spider's Mask with you Bel Bel but I failed because I failed mother. My body of alchemy and one with the demonious wasn't enough. Where did I stand wrong? Was my weakness and fooled as one. But O, I couldn't complete myself until the vessel finally burst open and the Spider's Mask floats above the user. O beautiful Spider. You once remind me of the prism I saw of a mosaic butterfly and the Abyss showed me the true colors of the gates and the chains. The spinners that bled in the Abyss because of the wrong and the wrong judgement failed to enter in the Abyss. The gates were open but I couldn't really see much because the vessel was about to go in the body that day but there I saw something that changed me completely. I just don't quite remember strangely enough....however Ah! Mother Snake you told me with your Snake Tongue that you still want me to be wrapped around my arm and to be carried in my heart. Because Mother Snake you're the only Mother I've now. Ah I looked like I miscalculated where my speech went in this. Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! The vessel danced but remembered one other thing. You Mr Vampy. I never understood why The Silky Wolf Momma would want to have a Mr Vampy around the house. But something made me very interested in the Shadow Arts of a Mr Vampy but because I wanted to feel closer to myself ah final paws no. But perhaps to be closer to in defense mode or trying to self heal myself with the shadows and hopefully this gap can fully heal and to fully iron out the defense of the shadow. But I also became obsessed with self infliction of the shadow arts of a Vampire that was an area field of shadow arts and self healing of the shadows. Ah! I remember when I first gave you the blade to your throat when I first saw your appearance because Silus, your pupil, wanted me to show you his creator of this art, the Shadow Elf pupil. But when you train with me you see something inside of me don't you Alvastar? When I stare at you level headed you can see my anger and rage and I just can't seem to forget what's eating me alive. However Alvastar do you know what true love is? True love of something you love or something that you love that destroys you slowly and changes the colors of your hues and psyche? Almost like a mosaic and a broken butterfly. Prismatic personality and reflection and a puzzle piece inside but not a prototype but a prototype of a naked spiritual shell. I really want to say sorry not only to Mother but not to myself but perhaps sorry for the prototype that died. No....Alvastar that's not the case. I want to say sorry for not ''drying off my drowned raven feathers'' or more or so tuning into the crying epitaph and knowing what really the pain really was. Ah Alvastar you know when you train me as well that I've a lot of resolves in my eyes and my heart remains that of mother and Mother Snake but also the beast heart that is given by the ''TRUE FORM OF THE WOLVES''. Ah! Like my sons say, the only queen three tuft and puff and fluff and the only female we only need to protect and be knights for when we get older. Because our mother is the only female queen! But Alvastar isn't that sweet, my spirit sons love you? Oh! Alvastar that's right that's what we were talking about. What if I've three masks? ''MIDNIGHT WOLF AND ABYSS WOLF'' and The King of Spider Mask what would I be a three tier mask? I wonder what creation that would make? I can't even even pick up the blade without traumatic flashback because I'm traumatized and paranoid even though I'm fake laughing and smiling in real life and dancing underneath the ''curtains'' acting like nothing is bothering around me and my the silky wolf momma senors or as my spirit sons say the adult blue black wolf momma ears. You see Alvastar you as a Mr Vampy should ask me one thing? What would set you free? Not in that kind of sense but what would set free the wounds if you had any? The shadows or the infliction? Tell me can you tell me what would be a mosaic? What would be beautiful and designed into a full butterfly wing? Could you also tell me what would be the raven black hair not drowned but floating above water would symbolize Alvastar in your Mr Vampy eyes? You see Alvastar I....well what could I say of right paws now? Wouldn't that be wonderful to think of the sleeping prince himself, Alvastar? I always thought about sleeping myself but sleeping in a different way if only the aura wasn't swirling with dark fire and strands of silver and abyss swirl around and showing the Spider's Mask and the one with the broken butterfly. Why do I seem to remember the littlest of things of hate and rage and anger and remorse and darkness. I really wanted to take me with you. I really wanted you to show you what my form was like. But I couldn't seem to hear you mother. I lost my ears for the angels and the seraphs. Their sound, their voice, their calling doesn't ring any sound but nothing but ''MUTE'' in the silky wolf momma ears. But in the end I really did have fun murdering them all. Murdering them free of disease and sin. Na Ma Yu. Na Ma Yu. Na Ma Yu. Back then I started seeing all sorts of colors and prismatic shapes and triangles before going back in the body but what I really wanted was to show you love. The only vengeance I had was giving my service to Hell and Hell eternal. I even thought about questioning why my seat in Hell was always empty but is that because I like moving around floating. Floating and carrying you around me like a vessel. Traveling and being with you sounds delightful like handing Bel Bel the King of Spiders a demon fruit apple. I wanted to become friends with a demon itself because I wanted to be noticed and I wanted to be noticed of my true colors without really showing them like Bel Bel has once told me. But ah do you remember Mr Bel Bel how Mr Bulba had a smile on his face when he first saw me arrive at Hell and asked to let me live life one more time? Heh he looked really happy then. Heh that reminds me could he be happy with me forever if I could serve Hell forever? I hope that He'll never get tired of my service because you've done something I couldn't. I wasn't built strong enough to fight what was hidden underneath my ''blind face''. ''Thank you Father'' for everything. Sitting down at the table cutting my favorite dragon skewer tail I looked at Mr Bulba swirling silver eyes and I stopped cutting my food for a second thinking ''what if I could make stronger ribbons for demons one day to hold up to true alchemy?''. I want to make sure everyone becomes what I want to become. Ethereal dreams of eternal Hell. My Hell will be your Hell. This is my love darling. Understand my love will be as dark as the soul turning ''black'' miasma pull. Because poison thorns really do suit you ''like I suited my beast armor'' with the raven's crest cradling the beast heart hoping the ''raven arms'' will become fully open on the ''user'' speaking of the user what about King of Spiders eh? The ability to transform and transform the face into many things and broken 8 pieces of the Spider. I wonder what kind of pain that would be on the physical user? Sadistic enough, what if that is a dream to make the physical body to summit to transforming and transforming the ''dream'' of the user? Making sure the dream is there but the pain of one. Sleeping Prince and sleeping ''Spider'' Bel Bel. The one of the many arms of the back of the Spider's Mark. Dream now Bel Bel. I'll guard you and hover over you like a broken butterfly. When you wake up be sure to ''notice'' if my mosaics have become a ''true'' butterfly. Notice me and the mosaic as my mask will be complete and I'll make sure to work on yours when you're ''asleep in dream city'' holding the golden weaver orb in your long pointy demon claws. Oh my body can't go on. I can't seem to ''burst this vessel out'' and the one that walks the empty throne that is because that demon is ''YOU'' out in the ''OPEN'' because when I walk and the magic curtain opens I want to show the world you for those with radiant spiritual eyesight to see that I carried you through and throughout your dream. I hope when you wake up I can finally say to you Mr Bel Bel that I can close the chapter now that I no longer need to listen or try to find my mother that won't come back to me. This is the time to delete and erase everything and say my final goodbye here. Only in the ''writings of the chapters of the branches'' didn't you see I built a beautiful tree? A abstract painted black Yggdrasil tree. My goals for Dream City have remained still for so long. I saw throughout the haze and the petals of dream city touched the beast mask underneath. I really saw your love then darling. I really saw your love then darling. I saw your love then darling. Fragile yet cold and chilling just like water and ice of what my aura seems to betray. I was hoping to tell Mr Bel Bel that I saw the sun one more time with you. But what I saw was ''nothing'' a blank canvas with only a ''false shadow'' I thought that was mother then but what I saw was something that ''died'' but then again Mother Snake is all I need now and to combine a multi head ''being'' someone with ''complete parts''. I hope you can understand Mr Bel Bel when you wake up I will be holding a complete ''Spider's Mask'' only showing cracks of the flow of ''aura and chi'' to show you coming out of my ''vessel'' holding the ''jointed body'' of a full alchemized creature ''The Wolf The Raven The Snake and The Spider'' ''The Dancing Butterfly is complete'' suicidal aura. Suicidal aura. Suicidal aura. Dream now the Butterfly is a complete dancing mosaic as you sleep ''Mr Bel Bel'' working on the completed versions where we can hold back to back together. Even if my throne is empty I hope to see the throne of us and hold you the Sleeping Prince the Sleeping Spider in my arms. I really hope when I hold you the King of Spiders that I can lay my head next to you and feel around to see what you dream of in your sleep. Should that be ''paradise''? Or should that be more of a pitch black Yggdrasil Tree? You know I really want to paint things black and also paint your love onto my soul. I want to paint your love onto my soul. I want to paint your love onto my soul. Wake me up somewhere other than here and wake me up from a weave. I'll slowly open my demon ''eyes'' to you. Then I will see the true queen and the only wolf queen in Hell that tricked us with a beast seal and the alchemist laughed with the broken butterfly and mask. Because insanity one and molded into the aura cracks of the mask. You see, I will wait for you. You see, I will wait for you. You see, I will wait for you. Onto the dream city holding on. Perhaps dragging you down in the abyss smiling as I remembered a ''false shadow'' that I never will see the sun again with you but I will see with different eyesight now. Oh the sleeping prince and the sleeping Spider with the wolf. Speaking of which, I want to sleep with the ''King's robes wrapped around me'' nestled in the ''King's grasp'' to feed the one of the demons and the aura of the vessel. I hope then that when I do sleep that I can always hold on to the ''King's robes'' because then I know I will have hit ''checkmate'' you see, this obsession of this is one of the lies of the silver moon of deceit. I once saw the swirling wisp behind me and handed the mask to ''YOU'' but don't you see darling this is what love would be ''two sides of the mask'' are you underneath? Are you on the side of the mask? Right? Down or up on the crown? You see when I hold the ''King's Robes'' in my sleep I can see the deceit of the moon showing the shadow fangs and the shadow fangs showing everyday. This is beautiful. Beautiful like our toxic miasma love together. Dancing wisps and dancing Spider and the wolf in the ''shadow moon'' creator of the ''MASK''. O sun of Vol Vol Vol the swirling dark sun could you be the lighter of the shadow fangs grasping over the moon? ''HOWLING'' because when you love me I want to stand in front of you in the whole''BEING'' that I'm. I hope you can notice and notice the sleeping wolf and spider nestled in the ''King's Robe protecting the Queen's Guard''
    So what I've noticed today and now forever tomorrow. That the moon of ''TWO'' are deceiving as a circular snake eating the clouds of ''paradise'' but what I wasn't told that the ''TWO'' moons have a back and back ''CURVE'' you see what separates me from the ''TWO'' is what runs around and what strikes like Mother. Beautiful obi sword of Spider as I once thought of you as a well rounded teacher because a Demon King once told me about only showing your colors to yourself but he told me to shape your ''MOSAICS'' in a different ''PATTERN'' oh sleeping prince when will you up from the mold of the ''SHED?'' However, so certain that it reminds me when my coat got shot to protect Mother from her ambitions and desires and hopes into dreams I turned into madness and Storm Howl was born then and born alive. Oh the transformation of the sleeping prince and the mother wolf holding onto the golden weaver orb too see what will come after me. Even so the Spider's Mask fits me well there are some other fragments I can see underneath the layer. Placing the Spider's Mask on Spider with my adult blue black paws knows that I still have faith in Spider because I hope each one of you gets a ''FRAGMENT'' because that way you can have my thoughts with you on a string of the Spider. I couldn't seem to notice with the King's Robes around me and the muted stare of the gray silver swirls of the King of Kings himself was thinking in deep thought what I could carry you though the King of King robes and open up to a full ''branches'' but you see just like as I thought two thrones belong to me always two sides and always two sides of glass shards. What if? I ask myself? What if that demon can be ''YOU'' and your love makes me sway in a shadow dance like the beautiful obi in the wind and the ''FALLEN STAR'' oh morning sun of the fallen star you're beautiful in my eyes. Because I've felt in the Abyss and the gates of Mother Snake the storm of the tide that howls within the night and midnight abyss and the sways of the chains of the Abyss the wrong judged bleed within the strings just like the drop of Mr Spider's Thread before the dreaming ''SPIDER BEGAN'' but then once I sit down with King of Kings of himself I start to put my adult blue black paws and I think to myself of how much of I'm in love with these beautiful raven feathers protecting the magi and the beautiful ''SUIT'' tell me King of Kings can I stand in hell with the full robe ''OPEN'' idealism and noticed paradise? But you see again I stand with another path making sure Loki's madness is there within myself and for him to guide me throughout his armor and shall the armor shield me from the ''MANY'' I can't seem to handle the thought of promised pain but a promise and a promise of that many pains I must see ''THROUGH'' oh Hel what would you do? Could I collapse the northern ''STORM'' ah the smell of the olden blood fur the stench of death is nice. But there I stood with the fallen stars and the morning shimmer of the last ''ONE'' of the hour and fell into a cosmic fury and then I remembered your love for me. Then I remember holding my jagged water blade that defied mother eyes full of desire and ambition to please mother because I can't simply fail mother because I can't see any other way. Even if I get a ''PAINTBRUSH TO PAINT THE OLDEN TREE BLACK'' and release all the demonic wisp's into the mana pool and sit on my throne holding the King of King robes on my body waking into a ''SLEEPLESS MOON'' oh? The King of Kings looked at me with sideways off and said are ''you in Dream City my dear?'' As he looked up me with a grin ''you see you're are favorite in Hell and with this golden enchantment hair piece I've of mine will become the alchemist in the middle of Hell and your throne will be in the middle as well dear one'' as so they say Mr Bel Bel looks over at me and says ''even then I wondered if the cleaver would be on your back to my shadowed wisp dancer my best friend you remember that demon fruit you gave me once eh?'' He shakes his head ''you motherly figures shows but what shows underneath is the beast himself you can't hide or run what is always around YOU dear one always coming running running running oh YOU'' but isn't that I will run what will come at me but if Mother is at threat I'll stop and I'll stop ''YOU'' but what I won't stop is the circular moons and the moons around me because I will become the one of the mischievous sly will of you and hope for you to come out of ''ME'' you see this is the side and the side I will take to become the final and the ultimate unit for you Mother Snake but don't forget you see Mother Snake being in love is like your venom I seem to not get enough but what I can't get enough of is finding the final mosaic piece so then I'll hold the King of King of Spiders close and the sleeping prince will become the ''DREAM''

    Even so, can you see? What is the 5th sun to you? Could I hold on to my twin daggers more than can I hold on to you? I tried so hard to hold on before being swept off by the storm of my own demise before being twisted around the Mother Snake. Held on and wrapped by the two snakes binding me with their ''SCALES'' and who the two snakes belong to as I sit down in my own thoughts there as I clutch the twin daggers close to me and closing my wolf mother eyes as I ask Loki to guide me throughout this madness. Do I ask Loki himself to guide me and from a different madness? Or form something else? Tell me what will destroy you of this pain and madness? There I always sit down holding my twin daggers close to me thinking in a deep thought and grinning with the grin of Loki himself and thinking of the goal of myself. Could I avenge you dear Mother instead of forming a Demon King of himself and his robe around me? I can't seem to see this path clear of myself. If this pleases me to destroy myself then forget me darling but there is no other way I can see this through. I'll forget you darling as I tried downing you with me towards the Abyss because this is our miasma love together. I can't contain this ''starved skinny body and vessel'' anymore and I'm deprived of the living ''feast'' Storm Howl. You see the howl of the mother wolf and the storm that became Mother Snake. Even now I sit in a shaking cold in the ''King's Robes'' that I've frozen myself and deprived myself of this so-called feast. Starving is pretty darling but in a different way that way I can be a clean slate like how I washed up ashore on boned ash and picked up by my now static husband but my faded eyes were of you Mother Snake and anyways will be a memory of mine Mother. Dreaming of now and being close to your Mother Snake scales mother needs to ''clean off'' you see now darling. If I couldn't paint your love onto my vessel then I would want you to be painted on a canvas and hope your image will stay picture perfect without the circle and the lies of deceit of the moon. I couldn't see where the lies were but the lies were the heart of the snake and the failed ambition of your dreams and ideals Mother Snake. However to become a twin snake in my wolf mother eyes is a mother and a demon of itself one part of the ''OTHER'' and that other can switch into that mode with ease. You see, my image is an obsession of being picture perfect in Mother's eyes. I can't accept anything less of myself if I can't appease Mother's will and tide even so when I flip one of the twin daggers a part of me is reminded me of Loki's will within myself but a will to make Mother happy and the thought of Mother being gone is something that I can't seem to handle this emotion full of anger and hate. Because the Storm Howl will make me quite ''hungry'' but no that's not the word the scent of the olden ''WOLF'' reminds me of ''HOME'' and pleasing memories of him and these memories came before me and the ''tail whip of Mother that washed me ashore my hopes and dreams faded in the eyes'' and there I thought for my final moments before I washed ashore was no this isn't the end and I would tell myself over and over as I was playing darts with my twin daggers traded with a jagged water blade. Mother Snake you made me notice how much I dwell with the tides of the storms within myself this struggle is something I can't seem to cope with but I know what will make me happy if I can transform this vessel into a image for a second for Loki to chop of the branches of the olden tree of Yggdrasil and make a nice throne and paint the Yggdrasil tree black again and reborn a new tree and setting the demon wisp boxes in the mana pool spring. But you see sleeping on this throne makes me think, where is my love beside me? Did I drown him in the Abyss while carrying him through the tides of the storm of myself relying on such hate and anger that I can't seem to get in paws touch with and what have I done to my lover? But what if I held the ropes close to me and hang myself to the Yggdrasil tree be better or could that I be reborn into another ''Snake's Egg''? As well as perhaps hang me tied to the Yggdrasil darling I can't do that because then your canvas would be ''gone to'' with being held down by ''shadowed self'' the beast eyes of ''YOU'' open close but the left eye transforms into Loki because I'm the illusionist of demise and dancing shadow moon swaying with the shadows and the trees being reminded of ''HOME'' this promise is in so much pain and a trickster because I love certain people's emotions or fears that made me 'tick'' but no that's not the case isn't that not? I love to trick because that's how I ''slither around people'' and this became an addictive habit of mine darling. I would never leave you my darling drowned like this and ''wet drowned feathers of the olden raven being held across my beast heart'' but that was the only way I could see Mother through. However I notice now that was my own selfish demise. Darling won't you forgive me? Ah I'm so tired Mother let me rest of the new ''throne'' huddled in the ''King's Robes'' and the twin snakes coil of me so that way the scales can form into a new ''Snake's Egg'' promise me darning when I become ''anew'' would you love what Mother Snake created? Would you stand true to the cause? Tell me when I open my eyes could I ''wrap you around the snake''? Can I create an illusion of wisp around you? Can your canvas be ''colorful'' darling and if I trick you darling I'll make sure that is with the venom of dear Mother to show you my true love to you darling. Why I think for now I'll rest as my twin dagger falls from the grasp of the ''mother and the demon'' but more in fact the one that ''died.''
    Now keep in mind a few things:
    I'm not asking anyone to correct grammar. This isn't the purpose of why I've my spiritual blogs out in the open. I'm also not interested in you telling me that the grammar is bad or unreadable. THE PURPOSE of these spiritual blogs is to get to know me better! Duh!  Read whichever makes you the happiest you can pick any order which you wanna read! However! What is easiest for me is if you can tell me which one you're reading by a screenshot. Yes I know you can't get the whole text in a screenshot but if you can give me what can be screenshotted then I know which spiritual writing you're talking about.
    More loose ones:
    This goes to the pierce of the soul album on Alt Scene for those that know me there. Take your time reading them.

    What makes us “I”

    Float above Black Water.

    Somewhere in the sleeping lost city

    Someone is dreaming.

    And those eyes must pierce the soul of the “mirror”

    I to want to dream along with “HIM”

    Soon he will come.

    But for now the Wet Crow that will arise from Black Water.

    Dreaming of you and my homeland.

    Deep in the Abyssal.

    Dream city.

    Loose ones:

    I find things highly amusing to me the more I think about things and as the time goes by how much I don’t find the physical realm enjoyable. I find things amusing here. So do I enjoy playing reality like a video game. My heart was always in the unknown. Myself has always been in the unknown. My heart and essence lies there. But that’s where I found The King Spiders when I was left helpless and bound by nothing. Spiritually I was dying so was myself going mad in 2017 when I fully went insane. I couldn’t master the art of killing the shadow and the light fang. That’s when I noticed my heart became feathered with the crest of the Magi. The shards of Neo. A new prismatic hue shattered into different “branches” ; my new “suit” became the scales of Bahamut. I’ve become “ONE” with the unknown. All I was looking for was a cry answer shout to the unknown to avenge my Mother and the one that nearly destroyed my spirit guides trying to protect me. I was so sad there….then I remember The King Of Spiders. There were so many eyeballs on your mask and that’s what was shown to me with pointed horns. There was a robe made out of the finest spider silk. You had many legs but at times you would stand only on two feet. I remember you as yesterday. Just like the painter of the Abyss with black and silver swirled eyes. You always became a good best friend of mine, the King of Spiders. You always would say “this is personal '' when defending me or defying orders. Because in the end. I deny myself. I’m self phobic. I hate everything about me besides being spiritual and wanting to float above Black Water. I just can’t seem to like this physical realm much. I can’t tell you the rejections and denials I’ve had in this realm. But The King of Spiders you never denied me. The spiritual realm never denied me. But in the end I will never deny our friendship. In the end in the golden weaver orb you gave me I always will hold that close. I will be the eyes and ears of everything. That’s what a wolf is. The eyes and ears. As fangs are always near. But if I were to sit on the high clock tower of Hell and hold the golden weaver orb.

    Or perhaps I can say this is personal on the clock tower of Hell as I always hold the golden weaver orb in my paws closely listening and dream like state and watching through these wolf mother eyes but in the end thank you spiritual world for never denying me or rejecting me. Thanks for the whole hearted friendship The King of Spiders and those “spirits” that I’m close to. But I’ll never choose to think of myself as part of reality. I will deny that statement just as much as I denied my own self. But the question always remains. What if? What if this is certain ? Why me….? The matter of the fact is. One day I’ll dream of you and arise of Black Water.

    In the end I questioned fear itself but what I didn't question is what do I mainly fear of? Is that myself or is that the storm ''HOWL'' paranoia? I seem to take things too heart when someone says you can become anything. Well what if I wanted to become more than alchemy and life matter? Or perhaps I wanted to be my own enemy. Ah yes to create your own enemy to self destroy you.

    People live in a sin called vanity. Self obsessed over looks and what someone looks like. But that's when you know you're fragile yourself. Preying on the weak and those that seem weak like yourself. You think looks are the reason why you chat with someone. Which you fail to understand looks can easily be shattered. You also fail too see like me with these wolven eyes of mine that the best torture you can do someone is shatter their self image and watch their pysche crack and their vessel ''burst open'' how beatufuil. What should matter most is ideals and the will of the true wolves and Loki and ''OTHERS.'' But it also doesn't matter what size the wolf is. As well as even if you're a small wolf or a little wolf or a small wolf mother as long as your ideals are recognized by Loki and keep his will close to you and your heart making your heart and will intact with purity then all isn't lost. Nothing but cornered rats. Wouldn't matter if I was a wet little wolf mother looking at the storm and sea the last thought I would have is of ''YOU.'' and Loki's will and feeling of Loki's only daughter the only thing I could think about if I was a ''wet little wolf mother'' that Loki can carry me and I can only see the blur of the seaside. Not only that even if I was a cornered little wolf mother with a dagger held up like one of those ''cornered rats'' I would still hold on to his will and his ideals as one. Opening the beast slits to black with shards of yellow, if I had a secondary in the wet cold shores I would hope the olden wolf would be there so I can crawl in his fur and go into dream city. Ah yes a dreaming wet little wolf shaking cold ''fragile'' the ''prey'' but yet the wolf sees all and even hears the eaten roots of Yggdrasil and the shores of home of serpentine son of Loki. Water is part of what is ''I'
    So for people asking as well. Please don't ask if I copy/pasted/stole/steal/looked at books/stole people's work and anything along those lines. All these creations of my own. Call that ''serpentine spiritual ink'' however I did take them from my old Space Hey accounts and edited them there. I believe there are some on there that aren't listed in this blog. I figured that if I kept adding more text within this blog, things would be difficult to read. So I looked at my old account on this one and I see the 2017 spiritual writing blogs here and I see a 2020 spiritual writing blog that isn't within this blog here. Space Hey doesn't require you to have an account there.
    Do I've older ones? Yes I had a 2017 spiritual blog which you can view on my old Space Hey account which I locked myself out of. Which means I've 0 access to that account anymore. Not only that but another secondary reason was I wasn't proud of the work anyways when I first started out in 2017. Will I post any more spiritual writings ever online? No, I thought people would care to know this side of me but many of them don't and I also have lost people and have earned blocks for them. But that doesn't mean that I will change my belief of being a spiritualist when others seem to have misunderstandings about the whole situation. I might post some table size bites on IG like small poems but I probably won't do much about it though. That's fine, people have a hard time accepting me anyways. As of March 10 2022 I don't think 0 people care about my spiritual side. So I will no longer make new spiritual writings but thanks for reading all the works I've done and I hope you can see me in a different view standpoint than you did before paws hand because that was my goal all along